what is this!

ok so I am not sure I really need another place to post my thoughts.. I actually don't even think I am going to tell anyone I know I am doing this.. they have enough to read between my group emails and all my other online journals?! I am doing this because of this friend I have. I have come to realize he might be a professional blogger. He has all these weekly updates he does about the best book the best movie, readers choiceblogs! And let me tell you he knows a lot about a lot of stuff and therefore can let his readers choose what randomness he will speak of next! I can't even figure out how to make the main photo on my page not take up the whole screen! I also can't imagine that I would create some following, and feel the need to write movie reviews, and talk about anything other then the thoughts that go through my little head. Everyone tells me I should write a book. I always wondered, where would i start? maybe I will start here, maybe I could write a blog like I would write a book and see where it would go? Telling the story of my life? of how I got to where I am today... and let me tell you my life has had some really interesting turns twists and adventures. I like telling stories, most say I am good at it, most of the stories of my life seem unreal at times, even to myself. But to put them into some logical book??? Do I write about my travels, my relationships with men, relationships with family, friends, the relationship with myself, with my life? How can a temper tantrum throwing, really bad kid turn into a negative always complaining, loud, yet hard working teenager, turn into a really positive life living, adventure seeking, successful women? Many people came into my life, showed me rays of light, that I was open enough to recieve them. I had to be willing to realize there was more to life then little Ol Rhode Island. There was actually a whole world to explore, amazing people beyond my imagination to meet. Life is this never ending lesson, and the only way to prove that we have learned a lesson, is to life in a different way after we realize the solution. We make our future, we only have as much control over our lives as we realize we have. Once we realize we have all the control to do and be what ever we choose, then our life become ours, a life worth living. So many people are not happy, don't even know how to be happy, don't even seek out ways to be happy, ways to change, that is on them.. all I can ever do and say look at me! I am happy right? Well I wasn't always this way, and I am not 100% always happy all the time, I just choose to deal with the things life dishes out, and find the positive in them! Sometimes I still need to people in my life around me to help me do this. But there lies another trick, surrounding yourself with other positive life loving people is the only way you can stay that way. So I don't really know what i will do on this page.. but then again I never know what I will do in anything I do... just go with the flow I guess.. And see what happens