Everything is all better!

SO.. All is wonderful in Stephie land.. And of course I knew it would be.. Had to have a little freak out, to make sure I was on task right!  So now my new job and schedule is awesome! I have a festival and some great weekends of shows, and parties under my belt, my new apartment is really a home! I live in a colorful, comfortable, lively place of memory nick nacks!  Photos, and african wood carvings, masks from venice italy and Krakow poland. Photos of happy smiling friends... Every minute of my day feels full. I have more people in my life then I can even keep up with. At parties and shows I know so many people it is hard to stay in one place very long.. And I was wanting more?? hmmmmm funny right.. Guess when I was living in Germany, not working so much, not having so much to do.. it gave me time to think about that "one thing I don't have" 

Now that I am home, living life, and being me... I don't even have time! I mean I am sure I would make the time if someone kickass came to my door step.. But until then.. Screw that! I am having a blast! I like flirting, I like talking to everyone! I like to focus more energy on 10 people instead of just one! So screw going above and beyond the call of duty for a guy (who I have had a crush on for years)  Screw him if he can not see how awesome I am, How Beautiful I am, and not giving me what I deserve.. I am done going above and beyond for people that can not even appreciate it!  There are enough people who do. I have so so much good in my life.. Why focus on what I don't have! Plus I got plans man! I have big plans! And boyfriends always hold me back... So I am my own girlfriend now! Man I am such a great girlfriend.. I am going to start treating myself the way others should treat me.. since I already treat them that way anyway! I don't deserve how I put myself down sometimes.. I need to and I slowly am realizing that I am awesome.. And it is ok to know that.. It is ok to say that! People tell me all the time, people love me, I make a difference, I am needed and I am important! And so what if I am not some skinny chic who could have a second job as a super model.. I am me.. and as Kale told me to say over and over...

I am sexy, I am beautiful, I am lovable, I AM LOVED!