Burning MAN

What A RIDE!

burning man, summer, thoughts, life
Current mood: adventurous

So while things are still fresh... or should i say playa dusty.. i wanted to blog a bit before things start to fade as fresh amazing memories.. I continue to feel blessed and excited about life, my future, and the path i seem to be choosing and dancing down... Sometimes i am doing so much i get to wonder "why am i doing so much?"... but i can't stop.. and its ok. This past month has been pretty magical for me. A new energy entered in, spun my tires, flipped my head around a few times and then danced away when i finally thought i had found just what i was looking for, it had been a very very long time since i ever thought i could actually share my life so openly and freely with someone else.. and it really seemed like he "got me".. tough breaks. I keep thinking it will happen for me when it is time.. but its hard to remember its not my time and i have to keep living with no expectations of the people who are around me and sharing my light. I am growing and learning and working on myself everyday. I am slowly becoming more and more me, and learning to accept that, love that, and be that....
I have always been bad at protecting my heart, i love openly and freely and many. Sometimes that means I will feel more pain then others, but I can not change what my core is... I am now able to see and accept that my core is beautiful, bright and full of life and love.
I went off to burning man this year with a lot on my mind and a heavy heart. What better place to deal with all of that right?
Out in the middle of this amazing temporary playground, full of wonder, magic, art, energy, music and friends from everywhere in my life! I feel more free, more open to everything around me, i feel prettier, brighter, i feel a part of something bigger then anyone even knows. This year i did it right, I went with people i love and feel comfortable with. I knew where all the good live music was, i knew what i needed to feel comfortable all the time, i knew how to find people, and they knew how to find me....
I got to hang out or run into people from all over my life!
the Appalachian Trail
Africa
Wyoming
Seattle african dance community
Seattle music friends
Portland friends
Myspace friends i had never met in person before
vashon island friends
festival friends i had met at bobolinks festival in may...

All coming together and entering in my time on the playa randomly and perfectly throughout the week..... And the strangers.... the un-known friends i should call them.. When the playa does its work and you think you are going to bed.. but instead your off on a crazy adventure with someone you just met..ohhh whats that shining thing in the distance.. lets go!..... 4 hours later you are quietly climbing some scaffolding to watch the sunrise together. and not wanting to say goodbye because you may very well not see them again... connections, and conversations that feel unreal...
I kissed a robot
Got thrown off a furry merry go round
Danced up on the counter to get ice (me up on a counter.. really??)
i got kidnapped by an art car and had to learn to let go, and just enjoy the ride...
i was the 2,395th person someone hugged (he had a clicker)
I gave out more vibrating back massages and got the best responses ever! (i should get a clicker!)
I got a great burning man stamp in the middle of no where and a cookie
I saw a giant green penis art car shooting flames from the tip
I kissed cute boys and it felt awesome, innocent and fun and special!
I wore fish nets and tutus and loved it! (so strange for me kinda)
I met a giant zebracorn that shot margaritas from its ass
I went monkey chanting
I found a camp that serves dels lemonade from Rhode Island!!
I was given so many compliments (by un-known friends) that blew me away really, and made me feel so great.. something that is needed right after your heart has been cracked.... i healed on the playa.. it was time to think, and rethink, and remember "everything happens for a reason" "it must not be what i thought it was" "sometimes feelings can steer you wrong and people are not who they seem" "in the end it will all become clear, and i will be thankful it went this way"

I am still learning to be ok with who i am, what i am, and what i am bringing to the table of life.
I need to realize and find the balance of my life... giving and taking too. Sharing and spending time alone to reflect and grow. I have come so so far, anyone of you who has known me for years can attest to that... But i do know i have a long way to grow and change and become an even better soul to walk this earth. I am getting there, I can feel it... and who ever chooses to walk beside me on my amazing journey will be as blessed as I am, and we can glow off each others light....
until then i will just keep shinning bright.....